• On the internet nothing is illegal, its all e-legal…
  • I’m so old that, when I was in school, history was called current affairs.
  • Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
  • Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder.
  • I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.
  • Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who’s totally free for the weekend.
  • The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.
  • Never make the same mistake twice… there are so many new ones to make!
  • One day, your life will flash in front of your eyes… Make it worth watching.
  • Worry is the darkroom in which ‘negatives’ are developed.
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