Credit cards in third world country

It won’t happen in third world country in near future, I meant not in Pakistan atlesat. So deer shabby beggars dont worry you arn’t alone.

President Musharraf Has Been Arrested …

How to light a Cigarette?

Question : You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don’t have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?

Answer 1: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER……..using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette

Answer 2: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette

Answer 3:  Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop…(TIP – TIP)
“TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee…Uss aag se hamne cigarette jalayee”.

Answer 4: Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & “jalney lagegi”

Opposite Proverbs

All good things come to those who wait. /\ Time and tide wait for no man.
The pen is mightier than the sword. /\ Actions speak louder than words.
Wise men think alike. /\ Fools seldom differ.
The best things in life are free. /\ There’s no such thing as a free lunch .
Slow and steady wins the race. /\ Time waits for no man .
Look before you leap. /\ Strike while the iron is hot .
Do it well, or not at all. /\ Half a loaf is better than none.
Birds of a feather flock together. /\ Opposites attract.
Don’t cross your bri dg es before you come to them. /\ Forewarned is forearmed.
Doubt is the beginning of wisdom. /\ Faith will move mountains.
Great starts make great finishes. /\ It ain’t over ’till it’s over.
Practice makes perfect. /\ All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Silence is golden. /\ The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
You’re never too old to learn. /\ You can’t teach an old dog new tricks
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. /\ One man’s meat is another man’s poison.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. /\ Out of sight, out of mind.
Hold fast to the words of your ancestors. /\ Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.

Do you know me ?

To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells her it’ll make her fat. “I won’t do it any more, Mom,” says the daughter.

Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. “If I bite my fingernails, I’ll be as fat as that, won’t I Mom?” “You’ll be fatter than that,” says her mother.

They get on a bus, and sitting opposite them is a very pregnant lady. The little girl can’t take her eyes off the woman’s belly.

The pregnant lady feels increasingly uncomfortable under this stare, and finally leans forward and says to the little girl, “Excuse me, but do you know me?”

And the little girl says, “No, but I know what you’ve been doing…”

Genie !!!

Read it out till the end b’coz It’s Hillarious, the best thing I ever posted on my blog under Jokes….

Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, “I warned you to be careful! Now we’ll have to
apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.”

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, “Come on in.” When they opened the door they saw the
damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken
antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, “Are you the people that broke my window?”

“Uh…yeah, sir. We’re sure sorry about that,” the husband replied.

“Oh,no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I’m a g
enie, and I’ve been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now
that you’ve released me, I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll Give
you each one wish, but if you don’t mind, I’ll keep the last one for
myself.”

“Wow, that’s great!” the husband said. He pondered a
moment and blurted out, “I’d like a million dollars a year for! the
rest of my life.”

“No problem,” said the genie. “You’ve got it, it’s the least I can do. And I’ll guarantee you a long, healthy life!”

“And now you, young lady, what do you want?” the genie asked. “I’d like to
own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the
world,” she said.
“Consider it done,” the genie said. “And your homes will always be safe from fire,burglary and natural disasters!”

“And now,” the couple asked in unison, “what’s your wish, genie?”

” Well, since I’ve been trapped in that bottle and haven’t been with a
woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your
wife.”

The husband looked at his wife and said, “Gee, honey, you
know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you
think?”

She thought it over for a few moments and said, “You
know, you’re right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn’t
mind, but what about you, honey?”

“You know I love you sweetheart,” said the husband.

“I’d do the same for you!” So the genie and the woman went upstairs where
they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was
insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie
rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, “How old are
you and your husband?”

“Why, we’re both 35,” she responded breathlessly.

“Really?! Thirty-five years old and both of you
still believe in genies?”

via

Doctor Knows more than You

Long ago two countries had been waging war for supremacy. In the course of war some doctors had been given medical help to the wounded soldiers.They had been writing ‘dead’ on the heads of dead soldiers.The sweepers too had been removing them to the burial ground. By mistake one doctor had written ‘dead’ on the heads of a wounded soldier.While the soldier was removed to the burial ground he started shouting. “Leave Me Where I’am, I’m still alive “. The sweeper shot back,”Shut Up.Do you Know more than doctor ? you must be buried by all means !”

Oxford Bole Tou ?

MUNNA BHAI
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya
hai?
CIRCUIT
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA
BHAI
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya
hai?
CIRCUIT
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael,
Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

Blog Dogs

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TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG.

A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog. When the dog is about to bite the woman, the man intervenes and kicks the dog. A reporter was seeing all this.

He said “That was great. I’ll definitely publish this in newspaper. Tomorrow the headline will be ‘LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG’.”

The man replied “Thank you, but I’m not from here. I am from US”.

Reporter ” OK. Then the headline will be US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM A DOG”. Man: Actually,I live in US but I’m not a US citizen. I’m a Pakistani national”.Next day, the headline in the paper read …

TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG.

Via